"No.. Its not why my chat window is open"… I carry a very straight forward tag of a "chatter" not that I earned it proudly but something awarded for utilizing my multitasking ability to its best. Funny thing is … its always negative. You see its not so hard to understand a concept of SDLC but its rather hard to understand the processing it binds your life to. Any regular day reading this you would say I know software Development Life Cycle (SDLC) very well so what big deal.. But its not what I would recommend when you read this, coz this... my friend, might be a regular day but surely is not a regular post on a regular profile. SDLC or.. "Some Drastic Life Changers" are the people who could just really change things in no time for you… it could be for good or for bad… for me its still in the phase I… the deciding phase.
Deciding Phase:
This is a important phase as you gather all the thoughts hiding behind every advice coming from directions even the most advanced compass cant record. Generally this would decide whether you gona land on a negative ground or a positive one… when comes to realizing phase…
Realizing Phase:
Apparently a paradox that you never really are sure that you decision was correct or not until you realize the consequences… and not the one you thought of before but the paradigm of the actual ones that happen. Its now when you realize that you have a very little time to choose between the Conquered phase or the conquering phase.
If you were a developer like me… (don worry I do feel sad for you) then instantly a thought will run through about "synchronous" and "asynchronous" events when it comes to "ed" and "ing". Yeah I know… but it’s water from the company cooler which is like the blood pumped into us over the hours spent on the desk… and it speaks when not required as well!!!
Conquered Phase:
More or less a common phase for many (Of course m not talking heart breaks) …. More than what the people think of you.. Its your own falling belief in your self that support all the bad. Lack of proper testing .. don hate the testers here… its more of unit testing here that fails you. If you ask me why we need this phase at all, I would say, this could be a perfect place for nesting great powers in yourself but that does not come to you straight away its like you are on a one two lane road on the left side and need to get to the place on the right.. You got to wait for your U-Turn…and it comes to those who believe in… like for the one's who get directly go the Conquering phase!!
Conquering Phase:
A very important phase as it builds a lot of base for you. There is just one ingredient to complete this phase and is a very common one, it’s "Nothing". So, how it goes is when you see in the mirror you mostly see nothing ..ya ya you see your self … no comments on your looks though :-) … but you can see a whole bundle of trust if you open up by closing your eyes and it does work. It’s the factor that wins you over others and so only there aren't winners all around, but a few who chose this phase and continue without been let down.
These phases are not what completes your life neither do they keep you cycling through life but they do bring about a sense of understanding… a sense of creditability… a sense of respect for yourself which starts with the SDLC's and keeps your Lifeware Processing going. If you are yet to meet your SDLC don wait and go visit a mirror you will find him/her standing right there.. Waiting for you!!!… For me.. I never gave up conquering… the chat window is still open.. But you won't know its who!!! ;)
PS- Non-developers can send their beatings by post, my inbox is full :-)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Listening beyond...,
And… before I could understand it was a war already. A thousand drums or a bazooka firing up inside my mind was hard to identify, though the amount of sound was still the same. Funny as it may seem but one thing I realized recently is there is no such thing as noise, its all about which sound your ears choose to notice. If you thought your mind was the one who drove that decision then its kinda doubtful coz its more of your feelings that command that platoon of nerves. "That wasn’t annoying at all" is what is said to myself with half tea spoon of surprise. No! it was not a credit card loan offer call but it was the sound my bed makes every time I shifted around to give my back a little space to exhale the "Straightening-vacuum". Suddenly this sound was not noise anymore… it was now like a bundle of little ant-like tap dancers having their annual parade and these little guys were giving their best performance. Still moving around and now more for the musical and not the back I was struck by the question to which I started searching an answer for….
Do we really listen to what we should … or what we want to?
The war was still on and the question just dropped in like an Atom bomb , luckily there is lotsa empty space inside my head to take the blow :-). I felt like I was behind the Enemy lines (no I wasn’t feeling like I was Owen Wilson) but yes I was hard not to think about it coz with every turn I took on the bed the tap tap dancers reminded me of it.
One good thing about late nights (besides parties) is the silence around which feels just like a shot of tequila just the difference is, it gets you high on peace. It gets a little hard to go back to bed if in case you are up once and you walk to your balcony in the middle of the night and yes that’s were you find the answer to your questions too. How do I know this… well coz I found mine!
Gazing into the sky with stars shinning bright enough to take over the street lights I realized that I have been listening to myself for a while now and I haven't even spoken a word. No sound of words yet somehow my ears were transmitting sentences, I can understand how the first discovery/invention if wireless techno would have made the common person react…. HOW!!!!!!!
And came the answer to me like a feeling of stupidity that you get when you find the find keys right in your pocket when you have already messed up your room looking for them. It was just the same, I guess I knew it all along… it was fairly simple rule that our body has… against any convention of good or bad… right or wrong… its just a simple rule…
You don’t listen to what you hear… you listen to what you tell your ears.
It was not the old plywood in my bed making the tap shoes dancers come to life in my room, it was me telling my ears to feel them. I guess that’s how life has always been … it was always what I "thought" was what made me listen and not the sound… I just wish we never miss the sound of our own thoughts coz they always know what's right… Always… if you can listen to yourself … please do coz no one else can tell you better than the real you....Listen Beyond.
With the scattered conventions that I always keep throwing away it was now time for me to head back to the grand finale of the dance performance… before my eyes could drop the curtain to end it all!!!
Do we really listen to what we should … or what we want to?
The war was still on and the question just dropped in like an Atom bomb , luckily there is lotsa empty space inside my head to take the blow :-). I felt like I was behind the Enemy lines (no I wasn’t feeling like I was Owen Wilson) but yes I was hard not to think about it coz with every turn I took on the bed the tap tap dancers reminded me of it.
One good thing about late nights (besides parties) is the silence around which feels just like a shot of tequila just the difference is, it gets you high on peace. It gets a little hard to go back to bed if in case you are up once and you walk to your balcony in the middle of the night and yes that’s were you find the answer to your questions too. How do I know this… well coz I found mine!
Gazing into the sky with stars shinning bright enough to take over the street lights I realized that I have been listening to myself for a while now and I haven't even spoken a word. No sound of words yet somehow my ears were transmitting sentences, I can understand how the first discovery/invention if wireless techno would have made the common person react…. HOW!!!!!!!
And came the answer to me like a feeling of stupidity that you get when you find the find keys right in your pocket when you have already messed up your room looking for them. It was just the same, I guess I knew it all along… it was fairly simple rule that our body has… against any convention of good or bad… right or wrong… its just a simple rule…
You don’t listen to what you hear… you listen to what you tell your ears.
It was not the old plywood in my bed making the tap shoes dancers come to life in my room, it was me telling my ears to feel them. I guess that’s how life has always been … it was always what I "thought" was what made me listen and not the sound… I just wish we never miss the sound of our own thoughts coz they always know what's right… Always… if you can listen to yourself … please do coz no one else can tell you better than the real you....Listen Beyond.
With the scattered conventions that I always keep throwing away it was now time for me to head back to the grand finale of the dance performance… before my eyes could drop the curtain to end it all!!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
A valuable mistake
The music of silence played by winds and the sea waves applauding on every rhythm makes your walk by the beach a rock concert of calmness. A feeling hard to describe but even harder to understand just gushes down your spine when those waves touch your bare feet soaking them in mud which looks more like chocolate on your toes. I would have missed this all if my lazy self would have noticed the cozy bed again once I was up. Some distance from where I live was the popular Aksa beach and yet my compass needle
never directed me to it, but today I was determined to venture beyond my reluctant mind and explore.
Three wheels and a meter to race against my wallet, I was on the way. When you are in a rickshaw its not just a paid drop it comes packed with free advices and not to forget some tips are really helpful. With the nice view on sideways and lesser traffic, hardly two glances at the watch and I was there, the Aksa beach.
A strange feeling of satisfaction engulfs you watching that water touch the sky. With the sun gone and the moon still on vacation it was the time for the stars to show off their glitter. Yes, I was a little late to reach but it turned out to be "A valuable mistake" kinds. The wind playing a musical and my hair flying to participate with full enthusiasm it was hard to decide whether to sit on this clean and well maintained beach or to keep walking till forever. Not until a couple of foot prints marked my presence on the grounds did I realize I was alone but surprisingly not lonely.
As the water kept washing away the names but not the love left behind on the sand by many, I kept enjoying my company sharing thoughts, feelings, passion, dreams which I would rather fear to disclose. Its not hard to be alone if you don’t know yourself in and out yet, there is nothing more adventurous than unveiling yourself. Now I wasn’t alone anymore, its like the nature was talking to me greeting me with some wonderful views which my camera couldn’t capture even with the night mode enabled, as if the surrounding was a camera jammer and flash repellent, but it made me feel special made me feel cherished. It does not matter if you have some one with you or not, what matters is you being with everything around.
6 KM from Malad (w) Mindspace , with a fare of 60 bucks Aksa beach clearly winning the cleanest beach in Mumbai trophy gave me a nice evening with myself , a overflowing bus ride back home and a valuable lesson as a souvenir "There may or may not be someone with you… but you can be with everyone and everything around, you are a part of the world and not a tourist".
never directed me to it, but today I was determined to venture beyond my reluctant mind and explore.
Three wheels and a meter to race against my wallet, I was on the way. When you are in a rickshaw its not just a paid drop it comes packed with free advices and not to forget some tips are really helpful. With the nice view on sideways and lesser traffic, hardly two glances at the watch and I was there, the Aksa beach.
A strange feeling of satisfaction engulfs you watching that water touch the sky. With the sun gone and the moon still on vacation it was the time for the stars to show off their glitter. Yes, I was a little late to reach but it turned out to be "A valuable mistake" kinds. The wind playing a musical and my hair flying to participate with full enthusiasm it was hard to decide whether to sit on this clean and well maintained beach or to keep walking till forever. Not until a couple of foot prints marked my presence on the grounds did I realize I was alone but surprisingly not lonely.
As the water kept washing away the names but not the love left behind on the sand by many, I kept enjoying my company sharing thoughts, feelings, passion, dreams which I would rather fear to disclose. Its not hard to be alone if you don’t know yourself in and out yet, there is nothing more adventurous than unveiling yourself. Now I wasn’t alone anymore, its like the nature was talking to me greeting me with some wonderful views which my camera couldn’t capture even with the night mode enabled, as if the surrounding was a camera jammer and flash repellent, but it made me feel special made me feel cherished. It does not matter if you have some one with you or not, what matters is you being with everything around.
6 KM from Malad (w) Mindspace , with a fare of 60 bucks Aksa beach clearly winning the cleanest beach in Mumbai trophy gave me a nice evening with myself , a overflowing bus ride back home and a valuable lesson as a souvenir "There may or may not be someone with you… but you can be with everyone and everything around, you are a part of the world and not a tourist".
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Mirror in my eyes...
Two rupee coin does not change my wallets weight but does change a lot for the kid sweeping the train compartment to make enough for dinner that will be shared among at least five people. The speedy wind zooming through my hair and eyes watching the dreams higher than tall buildings running by faster than the train… I was feeling like "No one" until that little kid was standing there expecting and not demanding, at least something for cleaning the place. Suddenly I was the king … and I realized all it took to feel that big was a 2 rupee coin, value of life does not count on what you own but it counts on what you give away…I really dint know if I was the bigger person or the 8 year old boy for whom it’s the dirt others spill that makes life easier to live.
A fire in his eyes I could see capable of burning the whole town yet not realizing the power within coz the world never lets you believe in what you have inside, its unless you betray every logic …you go prime time unconventional... is when you see yourself beyond the mirror. I was always very unconventional … believed in myself but I did try to stop and think about feasibly of things not realizing the fact that the moment you give your mind a reason to step back it will go inside its shell like a tortoise under attack… you can never break its shell. I wish this little fellow could see himself in my eyes… the mirror in my eyes where he can see power of his childhood sacrifice… the mirror in my eyes where he is more than just a sweeper… like the way I was a king in his !!
You just need to believe in what you can be… and you already become.. The moment you doubt this as just a theory or just a feel good factor… you lose it… they who never left it ruled the world!!
"Confidence to be on the top is not a very rare thing to have… Guts to make it public against all the rebellion is a rare commodity to have… and If you do… we shall meet at the top" !!
A fire in his eyes I could see capable of burning the whole town yet not realizing the power within coz the world never lets you believe in what you have inside, its unless you betray every logic …you go prime time unconventional... is when you see yourself beyond the mirror. I was always very unconventional … believed in myself but I did try to stop and think about feasibly of things not realizing the fact that the moment you give your mind a reason to step back it will go inside its shell like a tortoise under attack… you can never break its shell. I wish this little fellow could see himself in my eyes… the mirror in my eyes where he can see power of his childhood sacrifice… the mirror in my eyes where he is more than just a sweeper… like the way I was a king in his !!
You just need to believe in what you can be… and you already become.. The moment you doubt this as just a theory or just a feel good factor… you lose it… they who never left it ruled the world!!
"Confidence to be on the top is not a very rare thing to have… Guts to make it public against all the rebellion is a rare commodity to have… and If you do… we shall meet at the top" !!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A pending mail and a lost thought
Still a mail to be sent and its already 6:22… the bus don’t wait a minute more than 6:30 and I was still 7 Floors and 400 meters away from the bus. My mind was always the most congested place I knew until the elevator opened up, a few minutes more and it will be too late, but, it wasn’t, I got to the bus only to realize it didn’t matter even if I got it on time coz there was nothing waiting back home to rush for.
The theory of proportion becomes really clear when you understand that your age is directly proportional to time and your life inversely. A concept well understood by all but applied by a very few, did you know it takes just 2 tea spoon of confidence to live…but what makes "life" is when that confidence is added to a final touch to decorate survival. Sitting on that compact seat in the bus with knees almost inside my stomach still had all the room to let my mind roam around. It was jus a few minutes walk to my flat from where the bus dropped me but it was almost a light year from where my mind dropped me…
Cars…bikes…buses crossing the road faster than my heartbeat…and there I was thinking of corssing the raod, its funny how simple it is to move ahead …. You just need to wait for the traffic to stop, Yeah that’s what we all know already but why don’t we do the same in life? Hard time.. Sorrow.. Pain… all are nothing but heavy vehicles crossing the roads … they do follow the traffic rules, they do stop at a red light but we don’t… we don’t stop at a red light and keep moving .. I'll tell you a simple theory …whenever you want to move ahead in life… succeed in life… just tell yourself one thing… "Its not the red signal that’s stopping me from moving on… its me stopping for a while to clear the way for the one's coming after me" …. A sudden brake and I realized m at the destination… a pending mail and a lost thought… m home and still don’t have anything to rush for!
The theory of proportion becomes really clear when you understand that your age is directly proportional to time and your life inversely. A concept well understood by all but applied by a very few, did you know it takes just 2 tea spoon of confidence to live…but what makes "life" is when that confidence is added to a final touch to decorate survival. Sitting on that compact seat in the bus with knees almost inside my stomach still had all the room to let my mind roam around. It was jus a few minutes walk to my flat from where the bus dropped me but it was almost a light year from where my mind dropped me…
Cars…bikes…buses crossing the road faster than my heartbeat…and there I was thinking of corssing the raod, its funny how simple it is to move ahead …. You just need to wait for the traffic to stop, Yeah that’s what we all know already but why don’t we do the same in life? Hard time.. Sorrow.. Pain… all are nothing but heavy vehicles crossing the roads … they do follow the traffic rules, they do stop at a red light but we don’t… we don’t stop at a red light and keep moving .. I'll tell you a simple theory …whenever you want to move ahead in life… succeed in life… just tell yourself one thing… "Its not the red signal that’s stopping me from moving on… its me stopping for a while to clear the way for the one's coming after me" …. A sudden brake and I realized m at the destination… a pending mail and a lost thought… m home and still don’t have anything to rush for!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Another message tone
It was a message tone that went like a knife cutting the tension between my stare and the mirror and I realized it was already close to midnight and I haven't figured out what was different about today. It wasn’t a regular day for sure but nothing new happened as well…then why was it different.
The half empty water bottle sitting behind my bed still offering half of its self to me not realizing the switched off fan was already tired of the heat growing faster than any algae on everything around and my throat is no exception…but that does not stop my mind from thinking… still lost in what was different about today besides the temperature.
An unanswered question is more difficult to deal with than a headache, specially when the clock is running like it was its last chance at Olympics and you know that with morning comes your office which does not pay you for your sleep…the question is my own and so has to be the answer… the water level is going down in the bottle and I am in no mood to get up from my bed and get it re-filled. Wow!! I never thought a simple thought can turn out to be so complex…strange isn't it? … but the answers running through my mind like my fingers running on my keypad are stranger.
I know sitting in this room with four walls around cant let my mind be free… but I also know sitting in this room with four walls around cant keep my mind from feeling free…its not that difficult to live inside if you knew your body was just a cab your mind took from your house to the world around…the only problem is, it drops you more and picks less and very conveniently someone named it as "Complication".
I define this term as " Complication-: some sort of application that runs on your mind and makes sure that all operations in your mind are aborted before correct execution"…….
SHOOOOOOTTT… another message tone and its past midnight and it was now yesterday and no more a 'today' I was thinking of, just a set of digital numbers changed the whole day , don’t know if I still have the answer but I do know that surely will make the new today different from any other day… it will always be ironical how consistency is something everyone wants in life and yet here I am … trying to make every day of my life different… half closed eyes and a sleepy mind..
few drops of words falling out with every gulp of water emptying the bottle… I wouldn’t sleep on a wet bed ..better is to splash the drops of words on this notebook and let the battery be drained out… so here they come ….
"Walk besides your words they are yet to learn survival of meanings,
Its not going to take forever but a second before they strike new beginnings,
Not the drops of ink or the taps on keys it takes only a thought to fill pages,
It takes a moment to capture life in words for some…for some it takes ages…"
Wooooshh… the red LED just took away rest of my thoughts…. No its no fancy light, its my laptop flashing its red gear to let me know that its not just me who’s gona sleep thirsty with the bottle that’s already empty, but he as well will go off to bed with the thirst for some battery...
The half empty water bottle sitting behind my bed still offering half of its self to me not realizing the switched off fan was already tired of the heat growing faster than any algae on everything around and my throat is no exception…but that does not stop my mind from thinking… still lost in what was different about today besides the temperature.
An unanswered question is more difficult to deal with than a headache, specially when the clock is running like it was its last chance at Olympics and you know that with morning comes your office which does not pay you for your sleep…the question is my own and so has to be the answer… the water level is going down in the bottle and I am in no mood to get up from my bed and get it re-filled. Wow!! I never thought a simple thought can turn out to be so complex…strange isn't it? … but the answers running through my mind like my fingers running on my keypad are stranger.
I know sitting in this room with four walls around cant let my mind be free… but I also know sitting in this room with four walls around cant keep my mind from feeling free…its not that difficult to live inside if you knew your body was just a cab your mind took from your house to the world around…the only problem is, it drops you more and picks less and very conveniently someone named it as "Complication".
I define this term as " Complication-: some sort of application that runs on your mind and makes sure that all operations in your mind are aborted before correct execution"…….
SHOOOOOOTTT… another message tone and its past midnight and it was now yesterday and no more a 'today' I was thinking of, just a set of digital numbers changed the whole day , don’t know if I still have the answer but I do know that surely will make the new today different from any other day… it will always be ironical how consistency is something everyone wants in life and yet here I am … trying to make every day of my life different… half closed eyes and a sleepy mind..
few drops of words falling out with every gulp of water emptying the bottle… I wouldn’t sleep on a wet bed ..better is to splash the drops of words on this notebook and let the battery be drained out… so here they come ….
"Walk besides your words they are yet to learn survival of meanings,
Its not going to take forever but a second before they strike new beginnings,
Not the drops of ink or the taps on keys it takes only a thought to fill pages,
It takes a moment to capture life in words for some…for some it takes ages…"
Wooooshh… the red LED just took away rest of my thoughts…. No its no fancy light, its my laptop flashing its red gear to let me know that its not just me who’s gona sleep thirsty with the bottle that’s already empty, but he as well will go off to bed with the thirst for some battery...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
________________
Its 11:15 PM and I am still thinking what should be the title of my first post for my first blog. Hard it is to start with something but at times you don’t realize its even harder to start something you really really wana do, I always thought I am good with words and should write a lot only till I looked around to find out its not only me who breathes… its not only me who see's… its not only me who thinks... its not only me who has a virtual pad in mind that is a white board for the veins running down my skull scribbling on it every second.
A laptop with a broken 'forward slash' button 8 fingers and 1 thumb trying hard to make some sense but the title is still missing…I actually realize its so different to think and to write, when there is no pen no notepad around I have enough thoughts to outrun Shakespeare but when there are sources around my mind took a backseat …all the words… all the imagination is like on a world tour or hiding in the closet till I have given up any chances of putting them down on a paper to share with the world.
If you thought its just humans who are shy think again …. Words can be better nominees of this tag. I heard a lot of times that words are immortal once they come to life no one can take them away but I'll tell you a little secret today , they are very much mortal… all you need to do to kill a word is to not mean it… the word is like our body … nothing without its soul… nothing without being meant… and m trying hard to convince them to come out of the closed door and face the world.
The insecurity of being misunderstood , the pain of not being heard, the sorrow of being forgotten keeps them from coming out… they play with my mind all the time as if my mind was their backyard which they know so well that even I cant find their hiding spots, the moment I try to enter inside they all go missing…. Like the half an hour went and the title is still missing…
A laptop with a broken 'forward slash' button 8 fingers and 1 thumb trying hard to make some sense but the title is still missing…I actually realize its so different to think and to write, when there is no pen no notepad around I have enough thoughts to outrun Shakespeare but when there are sources around my mind took a backseat …all the words… all the imagination is like on a world tour or hiding in the closet till I have given up any chances of putting them down on a paper to share with the world.
If you thought its just humans who are shy think again …. Words can be better nominees of this tag. I heard a lot of times that words are immortal once they come to life no one can take them away but I'll tell you a little secret today , they are very much mortal… all you need to do to kill a word is to not mean it… the word is like our body … nothing without its soul… nothing without being meant… and m trying hard to convince them to come out of the closed door and face the world.
The insecurity of being misunderstood , the pain of not being heard, the sorrow of being forgotten keeps them from coming out… they play with my mind all the time as if my mind was their backyard which they know so well that even I cant find their hiding spots, the moment I try to enter inside they all go missing…. Like the half an hour went and the title is still missing…
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